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What to Seek Out in a Long-Term Partner
It’s funny the way human attraction works. And kind of sad. We look at a photo on a dating profile or gaze across the room at a stranger at a bar; we may evaluate height and attraction; we look at their clothes and unconsciously make a guess about their social positioning. We get to talking and go a little deeper and find that we share some of the same interests — you like pickleball? Me too!
Height, looks, salary, interests — do they really tell us what kind of partner this person will be to us? What a relationship with this person would feel like?
Maybe, but not in the way you might think. In fact, physical attractiveness is associated with less commitment in relationships and shorter relational duration (Ben-Ze’ev, 2019). And for males, physical attractiveness has been associated with a higher likelihood of cheating, less supportiveness in spousal interactions, and lower relationship satisfaction. Uh oh.
So, if not based on physical appearance, how can you know that you’ve found someone with whom you can create a healthy, happy relationship?
Research suggests there are characteristics that are associated with long-term relationship stability and happiness. The partners of individuals who are kind, patient, cooperative, open-minded, conscientious, and emotionally stable have better relationships (Furler, Gomez, & Grob, 2014; Shackelford, & Buss, 2000; Zare, Nasir, Mastor, & Shahrazad, 2013).
